As a child, summer was a magical time – fireflies, beach vacations, endless sun and fun until the streetlights came on. But as I moved into the teenage years, the magic that I wanted, needed, those precious few months to hold, never materialized. Even Houdini wouldn’t have been able to perform the illusions I so desperately wanted – a couple more inches of height and a few less pounds of flesh. Pulling some boobs out of his hat might have been a nice touch as well.
I figured, if I could just somehow transform from whatever wasn’t working at the end of one school year into whatever would get the boys to stop in their tracks the next, all would be right in my world. I wanted to hear whispers of “who’s that?” and “did she just move here?” as I passed by on the first day of school - me completely ignoring them of course.
My metamorphosis handbook? Seventeen Magazine. From 
the moment the Back to School issue hit the stands, it was in my hot, pathetic little hands (thanks mom). Every other corner was turned down – the newest zit cream, a kissable lip gloss (as if), some fancy new mascara promising thick, long, battable lashes.
Would this finally be the year I would tackle eyeliner?
The list of “must haves” for the season was created - plaid skirt, stirrup pants, anything Outback Red. No matter how these choices would actually look on my shape, shopping dates and budgets were set.
All this came rushing back to me yesterday as I purchased the “600 pages of Fall Fashion!” edition of In Style. Today, I usually stick to more “classics” - I don’t have access to my parents’ checkbook, I’ve reached the age where too trendy only makes me look like I raided Miley Cyrus’ closet (again, as if), and my self esteem has increased 10-fold – but I do try to stay somewhat hip. (I’m thrilled to see ballerina flats are still stylish – whew.) I did notice that the corners that are turned down now usually have to do with some ridiculously expensive wrinkle cream or a nice piece of jewelry. You know, big girl fantasies.
I look back on those adolescent days and cringe. Eventually, I learned that teenage boys hated the smell of desperation as much as they loved the smell of Polo, and I did manage to snare a pretty hot husband. What can I say, he loves my personality. But I especially feel bad for the hell I put my supportive mother through.
So very, very sorry mom.
Thanks for letting me figure out on my own that Guess jeans overalls really weren’t worth most of my budget. Leaving those in the dressing room was my first step away from that insecure little girl.
Priceless.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
What woman can’t relate to this? Some of the boys in High School I was hoping to impress are now fat, bald and aimless. Funny how things works out exactly the way they are supposed to.
and now i have 2 girls going through this exact phase…i hope they grow to be as secure and wonderful as you!
Ah, Outback Red. I hadn’t thought of that brand in years. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one turning down the corners of Seventeen mag. :+)
I read Seventeen sometimes. It seems to me there was another popular fashion teen magazine, back in the day, that I loved.
My magazine was YM. Do you remember that one?
And I JUST donated an Outback Red shirt to Goodwill last year before we moved. I couldn’t seen to part with the dang thing.
p.s. how can I make it so that MY daughter never reads these magazines??
Oh how Seventeen made things so much easier (and harder–I never looked like any of them!) I pity my poor children whose mother is so very, very cheap. Let’s hope “thrift store chic” comes back in with a vengeance. Thank you for the reminder that we still owe our parents gratitude!
Oh my gosh, yes. I devoured Seventeen, every page!!! I felt so cool for reading it too! Wasn’t there a competitor mag with the same type of content too? What the heck was that? It’s gone now.
I would happily have smelled Polo on men at the time, by the way. I mostly sniffed Brut.
I was a Sassy girl. That was a pretty revolutionary magazine for the teen set.
I thank my mom every day for refusing to spend $70 on my jeans.
I can’t ever remember reading those magazines – but then I was never trendy and that remains the case
Now my daughter, I think she is going to be totally different, a fashionista in the making already!
I don’t think I read any mags until I was 15 and then it was Mademoiselle, Glamour….and Cosmo.
But I just picked up the In Style too! I rarely buy it but thought $4.99 was a good value for 600 pages!
Teenage boys hated the smell of shy, introverted, and socially stunted too.
Just saying.
*grin*
Oh how I remember those days. I’m so glad I have boys.
If only I had left the overall in the dressing room back then. Oy.
gah. seventeen magazine. you pegged it, sister. always a must read during those awkward teenage summers.
i always loved the back to school issues. i think i have a nikki taylor with sister chrissy taylor issue tucked into a memory bin somewhere. full of tampon talk and pics of the guy of the moment!
I came to age in the era of hot pants and Twiggy. We girls gained the right of wearing jeans to school my 8th grade year. It was the 70′s, bell bottoms and peace signs ruled, so we etched them into our blue jeans with bleach…to the disdain of my mother.
We thought we were so cool….now that’s funny.
Holy cow – I HAD THAT ISSUE. THAT EXACT ONE! So funny! And I totally agree with you. LOL That was a blast from the past.