How you doing? Kids treating you well? Weather not too cold?
About that whole NaNoWriMo thing. Well. Here’s the deal. I totally bagged on it.
I know, I know, but let me entertain you with the list of things I did get done in November:
1. Painted dining room Dark Granite. It looks fantastic.
2. Switched out all brass doorknobs to Venetian Bronze. Brought house into new Millennium.
3. Recovered the ’80s plaid curtains in kitchen nook. Husband debating naming his next child after me.
4. Mourned the passing of my Gran.
5. Mourned the passing of an aunt.
6. Continued to mourn the passing of a dear friend.
7. Tried desperately to create a cocoon of love and warmth for my parents as they visited for Thanksgiving.
8. Rocked the hell out of that turkey.
9. Tried desperately to hold up a dear friend as her world implodes.
10. Desired to rock the hell out of that turkey.
11. Had the Christmas tree up before December 1.
12. Hung fun, colorful, tacky lights off the back of the house because I could really use fun, colorful AND tacky right now. Up yours HOA.
13. Bought yet another book about writing.
Number 13 is important because the book is about ending writer’s block. Though as I sat and read the first few paragraphs (that’s all my ADHD-mind will allow these days) I began to realize that “block” is not the word.
“Guilt” feels about right – writer’s guilt.
As in, “who the hell am I to think I have any right to indulge in writing?” because that’s what it feels like to my Protestant Work Ethic soul right now. A lark. A fancy. Something an Occupy Wall Street brat would demand while stomping his/her/its foot – “I’m going to write right now because what I have to say is well beyond incredibly important!”
It’s really not.
I apologized to my mom when she asked how the book was coming. I told her it wasn’t. It was crap and schlocky and lightweight with no importance or deep meaning or message that the world seems so desperately in need of right now.
Her answer (roughly) – “Oh, you mean something I would like to read.”
(note: you may or may not notice I’ve removed the post in memoriam of my Gran. After she stopped crying (nice daughter) my mother asked that it be included in the memorial service bulletin this weekend, after removing the curse words, of course. I’m not sure how Google works and I’m betting most of my relatives don’t as well, but just in case someone gets curious, I don’t want the post up and searchable. I so don’t need their prying eyes. Thank you for all your kind words. They lift me up more than you can know.)